Discussion Questions
for
‘The Sister Circle
Book One in the Sister Circle Series
CHAPTER 1:
1. Evelyn is faced with a hard dose of reality. Her husband is gone and she is responsible for the rest of her life. Have you ever felt this alone? This scared? What were the circumstances? How did you solve the problem?
2. Aaron Peerbaugh was not the greatest husband or father. Yet Evelyn doesn’t want to taint his memory in the presence of their son. Have you ever been in a situation where you chose to gild or gloss over the personality of a dead family member? What were the results? Would it have been better to share the truth?
3. Evelyn gets the idea for Peerbaugh Place and runs with it. The idea is confirmed when she finds the sign. How has this type of idea/reinforcement happened in your own life?
FAITH ISSUES:
1. During this crisis point in her life, Evelyn calls out, “God, if You’re out there . . . help! Tell me what I’m supposed to do next.” (p. 3) Whether we’re close to God or not, crises often spur us to call out to Him. Name a time you called out to Him in a crisis. How did He answer you? What about a time when you should have called out, and didn’t? How do you think things would have been different?
2. Evelyn is prodded to read Aaron’s Bible. When she does, she finds comfort. Have you ever felt compelled to read the Bible at a very specific time? Did you follow through, or ignore the nudge? How did reading the Word help? Did God give you the verses you needed? Do you still remember them?
CHAPTER 2:
1. Mae’s personality overwhelms Evelyn. She takes over, takes control. Yet Evelyn accepts all this without protest. What does this say about their personalities? Which woman is most like you?
2. Speaking of control . . . Tessa Klein exerts her own kind of control. What is the difference between Mae’s style and Tessa’s style in taking over Peerbaugh Place? Which kind of person would you rather deal with?
3. Evelyn finds change hard. Is this a bad thing? How can change be beneficial? Are you stuck in a rut? What steps can you (or your sisters) do to help you out of it?
FAITH ISSUES:
1. Evelyn describes her faith as one-sided: “God gave and she took.” (p. 18) Does this describe your faith? How can your faith become more two-sided? What can you give God?
2. After renting two of the rooms in one day, Evelyn decides not to place an ad. “She wasn’t ready to resort to normal means to rent out the last room.” (p.33) She chooses to let God continue to rent the rooms without her help. Proverbs 16: 3 says, “Commit your work to the LORD, and then your plans will succeed.” There is a balance between “Trusting God as if everything depended on Him, while working as if everything depended on us.” (see the Life Application Bible note for this verse.) Name a time in your life you’ve had to deal with that delicate balance of work and trust.
CHAPTER 3:
1. Evelyn finds herself the moderator between Tessa and Mae. When have you been the moderator between two diverse personalities? Did you thrive in that position or want to run? Why?
2. Mae takes it upon herself to accept Audra and little Summer as tenants—without talking with Evelyn first. If you were Evelyn, how would you have reacted to such gumption? Would the fact Audra was an unwed mother be a factor in your acceptance or refusal of her as a tenant?
3. Unexpectedly, Russell is the one who makes his mother think about her own dreams and possibilities. Do you have dreams that are unfulfilled? What’s keeping you from pursuing those dreams? Can your sisters help? Is there any way you can help and encourage one of your sisters to achieve her dream?
FAITH ISSUES:
1. Mae talks about luck and karma and vibes. Do you think these things exist? Or are they false teachings? How would you react to someone who attributed God-things to karma etc.?
2. Russell ridicules his mother when she explains how she looked to God for help and followed His “signs”. Have you ever given someone a hard time when they’ve tried to share an element of their faith that’s different than yours? Have you suffered such mocking from someone else? What did the experience teach you?
CHAPTER 4:
1. Gillie and Audra are unlikely friends. Have you had such a friend? What was hard about the relationship? How did it enrich both your lives? Or did it?
2. When the residents of Peerbaugh Place gather to make the house rules, the differences in how they handle conflict is evident. Which character most represents your way of dealing with such a situation? Which character pushes your button? Why?
3. Evelyn was upset when Aaron’s coins were removed from the dish. What have you held onto from the past? How did you let it go? (or did you?) What good (or harm) comes from such memory-shrines?
4. Mae brings up the differences between men and women as far as sharing and bonding. Give some examples of this gender-difference in your own life. How are your sisters filling (or not filling) a need in your life?
FAITH ISSUES:
1. The ladies deal with some big issues: divorce, dating, unwed pregnancy, gossip. What are the biblical views of these issues? How can we best express these truths with strength, yet with a heart of love?
CHAPTER 5:
1. Mae accuses Evelyn: "Gracious gyroscope, Evie. You don't even have an opinion about having an opinion?" (p. 88) Do you know anyone who straddles the fence on every issue? How do they make you feel? (or is it you?) Name a time when not having an opinion is a good thing.
2. Tessa surprised everyone by dancing with the rest of the ladies. How has someone (you thought you knew) shocked you by doing something outside their "box"? What might you do to surprise your sisters--in a good way? What are the benefits of such times?
3. Tessa started thinking about her life and what contribution she’d made. What contribution have you made? Can you name the contribution of one of your sisters? What can we do to make our lives richer in this way?
4. Each character possesses a certain inherent gift: Evelyn the Empathizer, Tessa the Teacher, Piper the Perceiver, Audra the Administrator, Mae the Motivator, Gillie the Giver, and Summer the Server. Which gift(s) come naturally to you? What gifts do you see in your sisters? What responsibility comes with our gifts?
FAITH ISSUES:
1. Evelyn didn't go to church. As believers in God, we are often put through guilt-trips regarding different elements of our faith. Some are deserved. Some, perhaps not. What guilt trips have you traveled regarding your faith? Was it deserved? Did the journey change you for the better?
CHAPTER 6:
1. Gillie loves to give, but her lavish gifts make others uncomfortable. Who should adjust their actions? Gillie or the gift-getter? What could Gillie do to make her gifts easier to accept?
2. Piper talks to Evelyn about God’s unique plan for our lives. Do you believe there is a plan for your life? Do you know what it is? How can you find out? How can your sisters help?
3. While Evelyn is having her pity-party alone in her bedroom she finds the Valentines Aaron had kept. They make her reassess her marriage and she feels regret. What do you regret? How can it be a good thing? How is it possible to live without regret (at least from this moment on?)
FAITH ISSUES:
1. Piper found peace when she stopped pursuing marriage. She quotes Jesus (John 14: 27) “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn’t like the peace the world gives. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” (p. 119) What are the different kinds of peace Jesus is talking about? Have you ever felt peace when you’ve stopped pursuing a dream?
2. Piper says “there is no unemployment in the workplace of God . . . you say yes to Him, He’ll use you.” (p. 121) How have you told God yes? What “yes” is He waiting to hear from you? What’s causing the delay?
CHAPTER 7:
1. Tessa is mad about not getting her way. But there’s more to it than that. She’s mad at herself for not being more at ease in social situations. Think of a situation when you’ve been angry at your own behavior, and a time when you’ve been mad at someone else. Which anger is justified? Which is stronger? Which anger is easier to resolve? Why?
2. Evelyn finds some chutzpah when dealing with her neighbor. Name a situation where you stood up and stood strong; where you surprised yourself with your passion. How did it feel? What's keeping you from doing this more often?
3. Piper is still a virgin at age thirty-three, “a fact the students she counseled found either hilarious or appalling.” (p. 163) For Piper it’s a moral choice despite the pressures of the world. What do you think about Piper’s choice? Would you be able to stand strong with a choice that made people laugh at you? What would that say about your character? How would the world be different if we all did this?
FAITH ISSUES:
1. At the Bible study, Piper and Tessa have different ways of teaching; they approach the truth with a different focus. Both have something to offer but is one better? Which kind of teaching interests you the most? What is your definition of knowledge vs. wisdom?
2. Pride causes Tessa to walk out of her Bible study. When has pride caused you to walk away from something you love? Did you resolve it and return? Or did pride keep you away? Is pride ever a good thing?
CHAPTER 8:
1. The ladies confront Tessa and her mood. Is it your nature to confront, ignore, or escape from such people? What do you think is the best way to handle someone who’s pouting? Or, if you’re the pout-er, what helps get you out of your mood?
2. Summer is very insightful about Tessa's personality quirks, and also is the one to reach her. When have you witnessed insight from a child? Why do you think they are capable of such insight? How can we regain that element of our childhood?
3. Mae’s impulsive speak-first/think-later habit gets her in trouble. When have you said too much? What were the consequences? Did you realize you were doing it at the time? What steps can you take to stop yourself before you do it again? Can your sisters help?
FAITH ISSUES:
1. Piper realizes she’s hurt Tessa. She also realizes she’s hurt God, confesses and receives His forgiveness. It’s a learning experience. Name a time when you’ve hurt God. Have you confessed and received His forgiveness? What are you waiting for? What did you/might you learn through this process?
2. Tessa is put through some hard times in order to get her to admit her shortcomings. She experiences “the hard way”. How has God had to use the hard way to get your attention? Were there less dramatic warnings you could have heeded and saved yourself (and others) pain? How can you become more aware of God’s ways and what He's trying to teach you?
CHAPTER 9:
1. Gillie pushes others to give, creating awkward situations. Yet some people need such a push. What’s the best way to compel people to give--not just of their treasure, but also of their time and talents? How do your sisters give to each other?
2. Summer feels her mother’s conditional love, based on good deeds. If-you-do-this-I'll-love-you. Are you guilty of loving someone in that way? Are you loved in that way by someone else? Do you think God’s love is conditional? With strings attached? How can we deepen and expand our love for others?
3. Audra lets her disgust regarding her own faults come out against her daughter. Think of a time you've taken out your frustrations about your own shortcomings on someone else. Did you rectify the situation? Can you rectify it even now?
4. Tessa experiences chest pains while under stress. But it’s not just stress that causes the pains, it’s something deeper. What is it? Have you ever had pains like this? How did you get them to go away?
FAITH ISSUES:
1. Gillie gave so everyone could see. Her act was reminiscent of the Pharisees who gave and acted out their faith for show; seeking the approval of men rather than God. What act of faith do you do for men more than Him? How can you gain the ultimate approval of God? (what does He want from you?)
CHAPTER 10:
1. Audra realizes she’s been forcing “chores, petty chastisements, and pressure” upon her daughter (p. 243) Are you too hard on someone you love? What steps can you take to lighten up and focus on what’s important?
2. Tessa makes amends with the women in her Bible study, an act that benefits her as much as them. Name an act of reconciliation you have given or received. How did it make you feel? Is there someone you should reconcile with right now? How can you go about it?
3. Piper is hurt when her best friend Audra doesn’t confide in her about Luke. Does true friendship involve being vulnerable by sharing secrets? Are you comfortable with that kind of sharing? Can a deep, abiding sisterhood be achieved without it?
FAITH ISSUES:
1. Tessa experiences profound relief when she confronts her faults and accepts God’s forgiveness. What fault have you confronted and been forgiven for? Or what fault should you confront and bring before the Lord?
2. Collier asks Mae to go with him to his church’s May Madness. She is as surprised as anyone when she accepts. When she goes, her life is changed. Have you offered a non-threatening invitation to a non-believer? What were the results? How can we best reach those we care about? How can we share our joy about Jesus without pushing?
CHAPTER 11:
1. Russell initially forgets Mother’s Day. Has anyone forgotten an important date in your life? Have you been the one to forget? How did you handle the situation? How could you have handled it better?
2. After vowing to change, Tessa backslides into her old, judgmental personality. When have you experienced a good change in your personality only to backslide? Did you give up or keep trying? How did the change get easier?
3. Russell finds it hard to deal with his mother’s past. Is there some part of your parents’ pasts you find hard to accept? Forgive? What will be the repercussions if this is not resolved before they are gone?
FAITH ISSUES:
1. At first, Tessa tries to change without God’s help—with little success. Finally, she realizes “I need to let Jesus change me . . . I need to let go.” (p. 281) What part of your personality or your life would you like to change? Have you surrendered it to the Lord? What’s preventing you from letting go and letting God? How can your sisters help?
2. Piper discovers Evelyn’s secret. Her first impulse is not in her friend’s best interest. Blessedly, Piper prays and gets God’s help to do the right thing. Name a time when a prayer has kept you from making a mistake. How can you have more victories like this?
3. Piper brings her dear friend Evelyn to the point of accepting Jesus as her Savior. Have you ever had such an experience? Have you missed chances to share the gospel? What are you afraid of? What is meant by the Great Commission? (Matthew 28: 19-20). Are you living it?
CHAPTER 12:
1. When Summer’s good deed falls short, Audra doesn’t appreciate her daughter’s intent, but only sees the negative of the situation. When have you been guilty of seeing the negative instead of zeroing in on the positive? Who did you hurt? What steps can you take to look for the good instead of pounce on the bad?
2. Society tells us to be independent and to raise independent children. As in Mae’s case, when can that independence run amuck? What is the balance and how can we find it?
3. Many of the ladies finally tell their families they love them. When was the last time you actually told your family—kids, spouse, siblings, parents—you love them? When can you do it (or do it again)? What will be their reaction?
4. Mae finds a way to show how much she appreciates and cares for her friends—her sisters. What can you do, using your talents and gifts, to show your sisters how much they mean to you?
The Moral of the Story:
Evelyn says to Mae, “’If we’ve learned anything from living together it’s that we shouldn’t go through life with regrets. We need to pursue our dreams, own up to our mistakes, and say what needs to be said to the people who need to hear it . . .’ Whatever was around the corner, Evelyn knew she’d be able to handle it, through the help of the sister circle and the God who had brought them together.” (p. 322, 323)